If you’re in your 20s or 30s, it’s probably safe to assume your parents didn’t regularly apologize to you when you were a kid — even if they were in the wrong. (If your parents did, count your lucky stars for having such progressive parents!)

Previous generations have often labeled apologizing to one’s kids as a sign of weakness or something to be ashamed of. Here at Hot Momma, we’re all about breaking down those previously-defined barriers so healthier relationships can grow!

Here are 3 reasons why I regularly apologize to my kids — and encourage others to do the same.

1. I model the behavior I want to see in my children.

In general, I try to model the behavior that I want to see in my kids. Am I perfect at this? Absolutely not. Do I keep learning and trying to do this as much as I can? Absolutely yes!

We’ve all heard the quote from Mahatma Gandhi: “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” Here are Hot Momma Co., we not only believe that truth wholeheartedly, but we also apply it to our families! If you’re sick of doing everyone’s dishes, don’t leave yours out and be the first one to load yours in the dishwasher. If you want your kids to yell less, be the one who doesn’t yell. You’ll be surprised at how much kids’ behavior comes from modeling, or seeing how you behave.

We all want our children to be happy, successful, healthy members of society. And when we apologize for our mistakes, we help them on that road. We do this by showing: 1) how to apologize and 2) that apologizing is a normal part of healthy relationships.

2.  I know that I am not always right.

I have no pretense about pretending I know everything. Sure, I do know more than my 4 year old at this point in life — I’ve had way more experience. But sooner or later, she will know that I don’t know everything. She can learn this on my terms or when she’s older and learns more herself. Personally, I’d rather give her this knowledge on my own terms! Admitting you’re wrong or don’t know something not only helps kids understand human limits, but it also helps them trust you. Imagine someone who acts like they are never wrong, but who is wrong sometimes. Now imagine someone who is wrong sometimes and admits when they’ve made a mistake. Whom would you trust more?

3. I feel better.

Parents have a pretty demanding job. And we are only human. Sometimes we lose our sh**. Sometimes we make poor decisions. I admit, I have yelled at my kids. And I have made poor decisions in the way that I treated them. I’m sure every parent who has ever lived has done that at some point. And the truth is, it doesn’t feel good. Yelling may be somewhat satisfying in the moment, but I never feel good after yelling at my kids. I’m glad to say that when I have done this, I have apologized to my child(ren) and sincerely meant it. When this happens, I give them a big hug and then we talk about what we can each do to help de-escalate a future similar situation.